Friday, May 10, 2013

Distinctive

Distinctive (adj):  different, unique, original

Today, my life is taking a new turn.

I have completed all the work necessary in order to graduate with my 90-hour M.Div, a process that has taken the entirety of four years of my life, almost to the day.

And I have no idea what to do with it.

Let me explain:  I have a lot of options and choices ahead, but none of them seem "right."  Maybe I just don't want to "grow up" and "be an adult" that is out of school, but even continuing my education seems like the wrong step to take.  And for someone who tends to plan out (in detail) the next, oh 40-50 years, not knowing what I'll be doing in 3 months or 6 months or a year is kinda super frightening.

However...
I have spent that last year and a half slowing down and enjoying my life instead of merely "doing" life, and it has been a huge transformation for me.  Even the fact that I am NOT rushing into the next "thing" after graduating is contrary to my nature.  Taking a break is not something I naturally strive to do.  But here I am, graduating with a supercharged degree, having absolutely no answer to "what are you doing after graduation?" or "what's next for you?".  And I'm okay with that.  If there is any proof of change in me, and of God's peace in my life, it is that I am completely okay with not knowing what will happen next.  In fact, I'm not even worried about the options and what I'm going to do next.  Whoa.

But, hey, let's not get crazy.  I still have some short term goals and plans ;)  After all, moving in 6 weeks will take a lot of time, effort, and organizational stamina. (PS Today is my two-year apartment-versary!)  Once we are settled in our new apartment, I think the dust will begin to settle, and I will look around and realize I need something to do.  I need a plan.  I need to figure things out.

But I know there's no rush.  And that is completely foreign to me.

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